Smart Answers!

Man comes home, finds his wife with his friend in bed. He shoots his friend and kills him.

Wife says: "If you behave like this, you will lose ALL your friends".

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A small Boy wrote to Santa Claus, "send me a brother"

Santa wrote back, "SEND ME YOUR MOTHER"

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What is the definition of Mistress?

Someone between the Mister and Mattress.

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Husband asks: "Do u know the meaning of WIFE?? Without Information Fighting E very-time"

Wife replies, " No, It means, W ith Idiot F or Ever !!!"

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What's the difference between stress, tension and panic?

Stress is when wife is pregnant, Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant, and Panic is when both are pregnant.

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Teacher: Do you know the importance of a period?

Kid: Yeah, once my sister said she has missed one, my mom fainted, dad got a heart attack & our driver ran away.

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A woman asks a man who is travelling with six children, "Are all these kids yours??"

The man replies, "No, I work in a condom factory and these are customer complaints".

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A young boy asks his Dad,

"What is the difference between confident and confidential?"

Dad says, "You are my son, I'm confident about that. Your friend over there, is also my son, that's confidential.

An 18 year old girl tells her Mom that she has missed her period for 2 months.

Very worried, the mother goes to the drugstore and buys a pregnancy kit.

The test result shows that the girl is pregnant.

Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says "who was the pig that did this to you? I want to know!"

The girl picks up the phone and makes a call.

Half an hour later a Ferrari stops in front of their house, a mature and distinguished man with gray hair and impeccably dressed in an Armani suit steps out of the of the Ferrari and enters the house.

He sits in the living room with the father, mother and the girl, and tells them:
"Good morning, your daughter has informed me of the problem. I can't marry her
because of my personal family situation but I'll take charge. I will pay all costs and provide for your daughter for the rest of her life. Additionally, if a girl is born I will bequeath a Ferrari, a beach house, 2 retail stores, a townhouse, a beachfront villa, and a $2,000,000 bank account. If a boy is born, my legacy will be a couple of factories and a $4,000,000 bank account. If twins, they will receive a factory and $2,000,000 each. However, if there is a miscarriage, what do you suggest I do?"

At this point, the father, who had remained silent, places a hand firmly on the man's shoulder and tells him, "You fuck her again."