sex dictionary

Elmer Fudd
While receiving oral pleasure from some cock loving slut you just met, pull your cock out of her mouth and proceed to beat her across the face with your dick making sure the smack of your cock against her cheeks echoes throughout the room. While you are bludgeoning her with your meat stick, say in your best Elmer Fudd voice: "Take that, you wascally, ol' wabbit" and then cap off the festivities with the patented Elmer Fudd laugh.

ET
Next time you've got some dumb-ass fuck puppet ready to go, grab her purse and excuse yourself to the can while the drunken whore waits, lost in her own tangled bush. Get her mother's (or husband's) phone number from her purse while making fake shit noises. Flush the toilet for effect then grab the cordless phone on the way back to bed. As soon as you find yourself stabbing her bucket with your jonny, dial the number and hold the phone near her head with same hand your pulling hair with and bang away. Make sure you mention her name and ask her things like, "Who's the biggest whore in the world?" and "You like fat cocks up your dirt road don't you?". Then throw the phone on the bed and tell it's for her. A nice topper to this maneuver is to take her money and throw her outside nude and lock the door. I like to threaten to kill her if I ever see her again. You might have your own closing. Have fun. Be creative.

Etch-A-Sketch
Trying to draw a smile on a woman's face by twiddling both of her nipples simultaneously.

Fartin' Whiskey
When you fart so hard, a hemorrhoid starts bleeding.

Felch
The felch is performed by placing your lips around your partner's asshole and proceeding to suck the feces out of it.

Felching
It occurs after you have been sticking your babe in the can, you bust your nut in there, back up and then pucker your lips up to her rim and suck out your ranch dressing. (This is also the first step of a very advanced maneuver called the Halmstad Hook).

Fish Eye
From behind, you shove both fists in her ass (or his if in prison). Thereupon she turns around in a one-eyed winking motion signaling that she has been there and done that.

Fish Hook
A variation of the shocker in which you pull back towards the pussy after you stick your finger up her anus.

Fire Island
This consists of telling someone you're going to spunk on their face while they are asleep, only half-jokingly, and then when they don't believe you, doing it just to prove that you're demented.

Flaming Amazon
This one's for all you pyromaniacs out there. When you're screwing some chick, right when your about to cum, you pull out and quickly grab the nearest lighter and set her pubes on fire, then...extinguish the flames with your jizz!

Flakes
Going down on a girl who is in the brown stage of her rag and coming up with flaky, stale leftovers stuck in your teeth.

Flooding the Cave
Inserting the penis into a woman's pussy and then urinating inside her. Applies to butt pirates as well.

Florida's Best
The fluid that is produced in a girl's mouth after sucking a cock that has just been pulled out of an asshole.

Flying Camel
A personal favorite. As she is lying on her back and you are hammering her from your knees. You very carefully move forward and prop yourself (without using your arms) on your dick while it is still inserted in her vagina. You then proceed to flap your arms and let out a long shrieking howl much like a flying camel. Strictly a class move.

Foggy Windshield
Spilling your massive load on the glasses of some four-eyed filthy.

Fortune Cookie
This maneuver is intended to teach fledgling hookers to swallow what we give them. If after a sensational round of knob-slobbing, the slut deposits your wealth elsewhere than her stomach, quickly take your knee to her jaw. Your new lucky number is equal to the amount of teeth you knock out. Confucius would be proud.

Fountain of You
While sitting on her face and having her eat your ass, jerk off like a madman. Build up as much pressure as possible before you release and spew like a venerable geyser all over her face, neck and tits. (Better in her bed.)

Four Wheel Drive
Fucking, or getting fucked during the peak of your genital herpes flare up, cause while you fuck, it's a bumpy ride.

Freeing the Tadpoles
Dropping a nice healthy load of your ball juice.

Freudian Slip
Shitting in your pants while farting. Farting is what you are doing, but shitting is your subconscious wants.

Fumilingus
When a man (or woman) performs cunnilingus on a woman and she farts directly in his face.

FUPA
Pronounced foo-pa and is abbreviated for "fat-upper-pussy-area". It's that nasty gut or pot-belly in the lower abdominal area of a woman. This term has a more derogatory affect when applied to younger women, since a fupa is far less appealing when seen on them.

Fur ball
You're chomping away at some mighty trollop who has a mane in between her legs the size of Lionel Richie's afro, when a mammoth hair ball gets lodged into your throat.

G Factor
When you convince your wife/girlfriend/hump buddy to do the most outrageous/kinky/nasty stuff and she is a pro and really enjoys it (like taking on your two buddies and their girlfriends while wearing nipple clamps and a dog collar and leaving no hole unmolested and capturing it all on video). Makes you sit up straight and say "Gee, I had no fucking idea."

Gay Poupon
The slimy see-thru brown coating a gay guy gets on his dick during some hot hairy butt sex. I overheard people joking about this at a time when I would not have preferred to lose my appetite. Can apply to heterosexual butt action as well I suppose, but the term generally loses its humor.

Gaylord Perry
Going to only one knuckle during an anal probe is for wimps. Make this famous knuckle ball pitcher proud and use multiple knuckles on that virgin corn hole. A minimum of two knuckles required (either on one finger or on multiple).

German Tourist
A chick so nasty and vile just for fun you and your buddies wind up fucking, pissing and shitting on.

Glass Bottom Boat
Covering a chick's face with Saran Wrap and then defecating on her head, thus creating the illusion of looking upward through a glass bottom vessel.

Glazed Donut
The act of taking a girl in the ass, pulling out, and spooging all over her pastry buns, thus transforming her rump into the illusion of an oversized, quivering glazed donut. Also known as "Cop's Delight."

Glory Hole
The well known term for a hole in a wall, or bathroom stall that a guy puts his dick through so some stanger can suck or fuck it.

Gobstopper
With two hands, spread your tramp's anus open, then spit a big-ass loogie down the asshole then close it back up. You can give her a smack on the ass when you're done, if you want.

Going to the Bullpen
The act of fingering the anus prior to having anal sex. It kind of "paves the way".

Golden Shower
Any form of dropping piss all over your partner. Great for those who like watersports.